My feeling towards you..

Pagi ni..
Aku bgun and,
First thing aku cari is hp.
Empty, no mesej from him.

Then cover myself with selimut back.
Trying to sleep back..
But i cant..

I miss him..
I miss him so much..

Aku tahu dye bz..
Too much bz..
And aku x nk ganggu dye.

But i miss the old of him..
Dulu, even dye bz pun dye still call aku utk cari gado.
Bising2 nape x mesej dye, x cari dye, x call dye.

But now dah xde sume tu...
Even pagi smlm pun aku bgun tido trus call dye,
And yg menghampakan aku is,
Dye dah bangun, and dye x msj coz ingtkn aku still tido and x nk kacau.

..........
....... No. I dont want that..
Aku x kisah, kacau la aku byk mane pun.
Wake me when i sleep, i dont care.
I wont mad.

I just wanna hear ur voice when i wake up in the morning.......


I'm afraid to tell u all of this..
I dont have enough strength to tell
how much u really mean to me..


Just a few words can describe my feelings towards u..

Today I thought of you, and not much else

I just want to hold your hand and waste friday nights watching movies with you.

I text you. You dont text back. I feel stupid.

You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

I wish I woke up to a text that said "Good morning beautiful, i hope you slept well. Meet me?" or something cute like that.

A simple "I miss you" from you can change everything.

He's not best looking, he's not the smartest guy, he can be a jerk sometimes, but for some reason I don't care. He's different. I love him.

Just one text from you would change my whole mood.

You speak to me with words, I look at you with feelings.

I like you. I like you a lot. I love you. I love you forever. I loved you....


:'(

How can i get the old of u back?
I know i didn't deserve it..

But i will wait....
Even it takes a year,

I will wait....

Alhamdulillah..

First of all, aku nk ucap alhamdulillah syukur..

Cause i got my cinta hati back..

Aku dpt pujuk dye..

And i'm glad i made it..

Still terbuka peluang utk baiki diri aku.

I will change..

That is my promise.

I will change everything that he doesnt like.

Sume bnde dye x suke.

I'll change..

I dont wanna lose him anymore..

This is my last chance..

I dont want to waste it..

Aku rather hilang sume member lelaki aku dari hilang dye.

Aku just x boleh hilang dye lagi.

Dye dah byk terseksa and brape tahun tahan prangai aku.

And now mmg mase utk aku btol2 stay.

Berbaloi air mate ni even mate perit.

Mnangis smpai air mate aku kering.

Da habis sgale kelenjar air dlm badan ni.

And pagi ni aku dapat mate yg paling cantik pada abad ini.

Worth it..

Sisa Masa

Well, i'm here at selayang.
First time staying here without under control mama and ayah.

I really have a good time here.
Plus ade mimi :)
Kucing yg hyperactive.

Keje main je ngn dye 24 jam.
Seriously dye kucing yg x reti penat.
Keje nk lompat sane sini.
Smpai mengah, but she wont stop.
Kdg2 aku yg kne stop sbb nk bagi dye minum air.
Haha. She is so cuteeeee..

And last nite, pkol 12.
I went to karaoke with abg.
Aku yg nk follow, cause aku nk spend mase.
I donno,
Skrg ni aku just rase i want to ruin my life..
Yup, hangout ngn sume org.
Even i dont even know them..
Yes this is crazy..
But fair enough.
Cause nobody will worry about me.
So i dont have to worry about myself.
Let the world ruin me.


Plus lepak2 last nite,
Dah lame x smoke.
But its been while, so even x reti pun.
Just layan jela.
I've bought one box of dunhill.
Smalam dah habis 3, so if free lagi habiskn terus smpai boleh beli next box.
And bnde ape boleh beli lagi?
Rokok dah lame x beli.
Since high school.
Wow, sgt2 dah lame.
Hahahaaa, ntah biar jelaaaaaaaa
Janji aku happy.

And last nite karaoke,
Aku sorg je prmpuan and follow dorg.
Ramai yg aku knal, cause pegi penang together,
But ade dlm 5 lagi aku x knal.
X prnah nmpk dorg.
Mybe friend of friend kot. Tah la, x nk amek tahu.
Penat smlm and i felt asleep kat kerusi.
Dorg plak karaoke smpai lebam.
Amazing thing! Aku boleh tido kat mane2 je.
Even kerusi pun! Hahaha.
Felt asleep, x sedar ape.
Padahal dorg menyanyi meraung nk mati, aku x dgr ape pun.
And it ends when abg kejut and bwk pergi kerete.
Oh, sumpah ngntok.
Aku just ingt sikit2 je.
Tibe2 rase mcm dah dlm kereta.
And dah smpai rumah terus cari katil tido.
End.

Pagi ni bangun sakit kepala, teruk gile.
Aku pun x fham.
Nk kate kene hujan, x hujan pun smlm.
Tah, mybe kepale aku sdiri gile nk pening bile2 mase dye nak.
Ok, brain, do evrything u want.
I dont care.


I just wanna have fun.

Balik behrang lagi nnti,
i just wanna out and have fun.

This is currently my face.

I cried a lot.
I cry anytime, i cried anytime i want.
Muke sembab.
I dont even care about my face.
Hodoh or messy or anything, i dont care.

I miss him..

I miss him..
I really miss him...

But i cannot do anything..
Aku nk dye bahagie..
But bukan dgn care pakse dye..

I miss him..

i love you...
i love you no matter what happen..
no matter how much u hate me..

I'm happy for him, but i'm crying for myself..

Especially for you, girl

Some girls just wanna watch the world die

Hey slut, i have a few words to you.

Hahaha, really? Do u have so much time to stalk me? Do u have time for yourself?

Ur life is worthless and u really look stupid, extremely look stupidoooooooooo.  Hahaaa.

U came to see my blog evryday so that i can entertain u isn't? Haha, your life must be sooooooooooo boringggggggg.........

Dont u have friends? boyfriend? 

Oh, or u dont have them all? Wait, of course u have friends that hv the level of stupidity just like u. 

Your bf? Oh, sorry, i forgot that u dont hv a boyfriend. U just have a guy that didnt sure to make relationship with u or not. I bet cause u are so pathetic and u make people annoyed. Mybe he also afraid to hv a weirdo freak girl just like u.

Can i say, yang hidup kau pun cacat, and u still have time to judge me? 

Bitch, please. Mind your own business. 

I dont give a shit about you and your hell life. So pls stay our from mine. I didn't ask for ur advice and suggestion. So who the hell are u trying to judge me? 

Cube fikir, brape kali kau kacau hidup aku? Pernah sekali aku tulis pasl ko? NO. kan? Aku x pernah kcau hidup kau kan? Dari dulu lagi jari kau rajin nk taip pasal aku kan.  

Kau x boleh hidup tanpa myusahkn hidup org lain eh?

I know evrything about u. I know what u did in PAST.

 Yes bitch, i know what all the thing that u did. 

Everything. 

So u should be shame. I didnt judge u by your past. So dont judge me. 

Do u want me to write evrything that will humiliate u? Your past? 

No right?

Cause i know that was your past and u are the same human that makes mistake.

So i didnt laugh at u and not judging u.

So please get the hell out of my life. 

My life, My choices, My problems, My mistakes, My lessons. Not your business, mind your own problems before you talk about mine.

Please, x payah fikir kan org lain. Yes, this is all for u. Not other girl. Just u. 
Cause nobody stalk me like u do. U have such a free time to stalk me. 
So think about what i said. 
Dont let me write evrything about ur past.

How?

Skrg aku tgh buntu.

Baru tadi kak liya kol. Officemate dulu.

Dye call nk remindkan yg ahad ni knduri abg Om.

Dye suruh pegi knduri tu. 

And idea dye mcm biase la,

Sume tggu kat office dulu then gerak ramai2.

Dye suruh aku dtg omron and tggu ngn dorg rmai2 kat situ.

But unfortunately, aku rase x dpt dtg.

Coz aku kat selayang, 

Camne aku nk gi omron?

I dont noe how, jalan sume nk ke omron. 

Aku x familiar ngn jalan kat selayang lagi.

Huh.... 

How nk pegi omron?

Mybe aku mmg x dpt pegi..

Hmm, pasrah jelah..

Change

I have to change myself..
Really need to change this time.

At least i showed my effort.
Hati aku x kejam mcm dye.
4 years tu brmakne bagi aku. But aku x sgke bnde tu x brmakne bagi dye.
He really dont want me this time.

Ok, i'm leaving..
At least i sent msj begging u to come back.
But it means nothing for u. Nothing.
At least i'm trying.

I need to change myself.
If u hate me so badly, i cant change that.
If u really want me to go, i'll leave.

I delete all his pic, so tht i dont see his face anymore.
I have to del evrything that will remind of him.
And i wont say anything about him anymore.
No more. No more story about him on my blog.

Aku akn dgr ckp ayah.
Stay at kota damansara or selayang.
Wherever dorg nk campak aku pun.
Aku terime.
I guess better i move to other place.
Tonight i will start packing my stuff.
This week, i will move out from puchong.
There's nothing left here.

Missing you..

I miss you, I miss how we where before, you've changed, we've changed.

Sometimes the only reason I get up in the moring is to check my phone to see if last night you were thinking about me the way I think about you every single night...

I dono what else to say.. Just wish u come back and make me feel complete,again..

3

Hye!

Actually xde idea nk tulis pasl ape.

But still aku nk taip.

Hari ni nk cerite pasl bende yg aku takut.

Woah! Byk sbenarnye aku takut. 

But hari ni just cerite yg mane mampu dulu.

Orait, first!

Bnde yg aku takut is :

1. Badut

Aku mmg mgaku aku takut bnde ni. Seriously aku x fham kenape budak2 suke and boleh gelak dgn badut!

Dorg x nmpk bende tu mnakutkan ke??

Aku paling benci bnde ni coz dye ade merate-rate dunie!

Paling merbahaye, kat dlm shopping mall.

Sumpah benci!

Aku rase if aku tgh shopping pun, aku sanggup tingglkn sume brg tu and lari dari makhluk hodoh tu dulu.

Tu wajib! 

If aku trserempak dgn badut kat mane2 je automatic aku grab sape2 je yg trdekat.

Mane la tawu klau tibe2 makhluk tu tarik ke ape.

And one more! Penah x jumpe badut yg pakai kaki panjang tu?

Aku pernah jumpe skali kat downtown cheras. 

Ish, shit la. Ko dah rendah pun aku benci, lagi kan ko tinggi la.

Berdouble2 la aku pnye benci.

Nooo, serious aku x boleh dekat ngn makhluk ni.

Sgt hodoh and trlalu colourful. 

Aku x tahu nape smpai skrg aku x ley trime kewujudan dye.

Ergh, taip ni pun suddenly bulu roma aku meremang.

That means aku sangat2 x suke ngn makhluk tu.

eeeeeee!!!!

2. Lipas

Sape x knal lipas kan? Haha.

Lipas la musuh no.1 perempuan dlm dunie ni.

And of course musuh aku jugak.

Klau dye jalan or merayap tu boleh tahan lagi.

Still boleh berani lagi nk pergi dekat and bunuh dye.

Klau dye dah bukak sayap, tu naye!!

Memang bertemperian lari x ingat dunie.

Mase tu dah lupe niat nk bunuh dye, terus lari.

And aku plak, klau jumpe makhluk ni aku suke jerit sekuat hati.

Haha, automatik. X boleh control jerit tu.

X tahu la trlalu takot ke or excited. Hihi

Suddenly aku teringat,

Aku and dye tgh kemas almari kain, kat rumah sewa shah alam dulu.

Name pun almari kain kan, so kene la lipat2 masuk dlm plastik balik.

X tahu plak bwh and blakang almari tu ade anak2 lipas.

Elok2 si dye tgh nk kibas almari tu, tibe2 anak lipas sume keluar mcm sial. Elok plak tu bertenggek kat tgn dye.

Ape lagi, aku yg brdiri kat sbelah dye tu jerit smpai nk trcabut anak tekak la.

And laki aku plak boleh terkejut and terus campak almari tu dari tgn dye. Haha!

Tu kelakar! Aku gelakkan dye kaw2 time tu.

Teruk kena bahan lpas tu. Haha

Ingatkan dye brani sgt ngn lipas.

Dye yg takot dulu! Hahahaha. 

Smpai skrg aku boleh gelak lagi if ingt bnde tu.

3. Swimming Pool

Bukan sume org takut dgn bende ni.

Aku salah seorg yg takut dgn bnde ni.

Why?

Orait, i admit. I cant swim.

Aku x boleh berenang. 

Even dah blaja brape kali. I still cant swim.

Bukan sengaje x nk blaja.

But mmg mind aku x boleh terime agaknye.

Padahal dah byk kali belajar.

Mybe aku still trauma.

Aku penah lemas dulu, mase kecik.

So bygkan la mase tu cmne budak prmpuan kecik yg lemas sorg2 and xde sape tahu.

Even ayah pun x perasan.

And lastly baru ayah perasan coz nmpk pelampung biru kecik aku je. Orangnye xde.

Orang yg prnah lemas je tahu cmne sakit nye dlm air tu.

Serius sakit sgt2 time air sume masuk dlm hidung, telinge, tekak sume.

Urgh, sakit. Aku nk ingat balik pun x sggup.

Lpas lemas tu, aku demam seminggu.

Kesian ayah kene marah ngn mama. 

:)

But now aku still boleh berenang acah2 je. Hihihi.

Xde la smpai x nk masuk swimming pool.

Wajib masuk, tapi kene berpaut kat sape2 la.

Mcm org bodo kan. :(  Hmm, tapi nk wat cmne.

Tu je cara yg boleyy..

But in future aku harap dah x takut sume ni. Haha.

Harap2 la kannn.

Go

Everytime post sumthing kat blog ni, aku mengeluh.
Coz action speaks louder than word.
But i am using word instead of action.
Hmm..
Tah, mybe i'm useless, coward or whatsoever..
I'm not so brave to start an action.
So just dpt luah kat blog ni..
I'm sorry blog if u hv so much trouble listening to my problems.
Just i dunno who i can talk with..
I'm sorry i caused so much trouble to u..


Does he think bout me?

Yes, i've been thinking bout him, i miss him so much..
But that is my feeling..
Only me.

People said,
"If u love someone, u will chase that person no matter what..
U'll be thinking bout that person all the time. U will afraid to lose them"

But does he feel the same?

Half of my heart says,
He didnt care about me anymore.
Mybe he really move on this time.
Mybe he really want to get rid of me.
Does this 4 years means nothing to him?

All his weird stuff.
Bfore this he is very protective.
But now, dye yg unfriend,
He is the one to choose to let me go.
Sometimes dye yg x msj, x call.

Gosh...
Baru perasan sume bnde ni..
Mybe....
He didnt love me anymore.
Dye dah xde feeling..
Now i get it.

Thats why he choose to let me go.
Even aku gado ngn dye brape juta kali pun aku x prnah tfikir nk ptuskn ape2.
But dye. Easily....

Even last msj pun dye ckp "lelaki mane yg tahan dgn prangai ko"
He really mean it..
Dye btol2 nk pegi kali ni.
I caused so much trouble to him..
I'm sorry...........

Mybe i should really go..
I burden him too much..
He hates me so much.

I'm sorry if sumtimes i'm thinking bout u,
i'm sorry if i miss u..
i'm sorry if i want u so badly..

That's all i can do without u knowing evrything..



I should go...


I should really go this time..

I'm sorry.. i just love u sooo much..

Pain

Hye people
Today is a rough day..
At lastttttttt, my bulan dah dtg.

Of course i'm happy, but other than that kene tanggung sakit.
Coz it's not funny klau dah 2 bulan x dtg.
It is so weird.
Nasib baik dtg awal, baru ingt nk buat checkup next week.
But now rase lega.

And now, i'm typing dgn keadaan tgh menahan sakit.
Serious sakit...
It feels like ade mesin basuh dlm ni.
And worst, mesin basuh tgh spin.
Sakit gile..
Dah nk dkat 2 jam terbaring kat katil.
Nk gerak pun sakit..
Menangis tahan perut ni.
Why la sakit sgttttttttt.......??  :'(

I'm not gonna lie to you, I did care about you. I did spend all those nights crying for you. I did feel sad when you were not around. I did spend hours waiting for your replies and worst of all, I did spend all those days hoping that one day you'll love me like I loved you.


I smile. I laugh like I am fine, but I am really bleeding inside. All I wanted was to hold you close and never let you go. You will never know the kind of feelings I've had for you. You're shutting me out.


No matter how long it takes to heal my broken heart, it will never be fully healed without you there right next to me holding me tightly and never letting go.


Sometimes I wish that we had never ended, sometimes I wish that you'd call me, sometimes I wish that I could feel your touch one more time, sometimes I wish I was the one for you, but no matter how much I wish for it, it never comes true. No matter how much I love you, you will never love me.


Everyone tells me to move on. Everyone tells me that you're not worth my tears. Truth is, they're lying. You are worth my tears. Because I'm willing to cry about you, because I really do love you. 


My happy moments came about when I was with you. Now you're no longer here, what am I to do? You promised me that you'd always be by my side. To make sure everything will be alright. Don't you remember you told me you loved me. Or was that all a lie? Cause these tears keep falling when thoughts of you cross my mind. I miss you


Although you wont care for me, the way I want you to. Although you wont be there for me, when I need you to. Although you wont listen to me when I'm troubled. Although my heart aches...I love you...and will still choose to love you...


I'm sorry. I know we fight, but who doesn't? We aren't perfect. We're gonna fight sometimes. But I'm never going to stop loving you, no matter how much we fight or what we fight about. I just want to let you know that I love you and i'm apologizing, whether I started it or not, 
it is because I love you more than I love my pride. 
I would rather lose a stupid argument than losing you...  :'(

Baby~~

Entry this time is about babyyyyy~~
Why?
Because baru balik dari beli brg baby dgn akak.

And tgn ni la tukang mengangkut sume brg2 yg dorg beli.
Sbb sorg lagi macik yg tua dah x larat angkt berat2,
and one more prmpuan mgandung mengade2 x boleh angkat brg berat. HUH!!
So kene harapkan prmpuan yg muda ni la angkat brg. Erghh.

Well, actually byk experience aku dpt hari ni.
Kalau nk shopping kat bhagian baby, kene brhati2.
Coz klau tmpt tu crowded, confirm crowded dgn ibu2 mgndung je.
Coz confirm la dorg tgh mncari brg baby.

So dah la dgn bakul yg berat tadi, and org yg ramai.
Dlm ramai2 tu, aku ter-siku sorg lady ni, dye tgh pregnant.
Waaaa!!! Sumpah x perasan dye ade kat blkang.
Aku dah risau and say sorry byk kali.
Cause perut dye dah mcm 8 bulan. Besar sgt.
But dye just pegang perut dye and ckp "its okay" smbil trsenyum.
Dlm hati da risau dah dgn perut dye. Aku takot dye rase sakit ke ape.
Serius risau.
And dalm risau tu, aku boleh tumpang pgg perut dye skali. Hahaha.
Nmpk tak risau tu smpai tahap mana?
Hadui~

Second experience,
Sume pregnant lady tu shopping bertemankn suami dorg.
Which is so sweettttttttttttt... ^__^
Lagi2 kalau suami dorg hensem. Waaa, lagi nmpk sweet. Hehehe
Dorg beli baju, botol susu, stroller, and byk lagi.
Serious sweet..
And sometimes nmpk husband yg nmpk caring dgn wife dorg.
Omaga~~ Sweet gile..
Seriously, i want that in my future..
Nk beli brg baby with my husband if i got pregnant lpas kawin.


Nak sgt rase experience mcm tu..

^__^

I may have a caring and lovely husband,
Insyaallah.. ^_^

Alive

Aku still hidup..

Yes, i'm thankful for that..

Pagi tadi 7.30 aku keluar rumah.

Drive to behrang.

8.30 aku still stuck kat tol sunway.

And 9.30 baru smpai behrang.

Prjumpaan tu habis pkol 11.

That time aku rase lapar, but aku x nk mkn.

Malas and nk cepat balik rumah.

And akhir2 ni i admit, selera mkn aku da brkurang.

Aku jarang makan.

Pukul 11 aku gerak balik puchong dari poli.

At first aku dah rase ngantok.

But aku still drive mcm biase.

Lawan rase ngantok.

And here,

Kat jalan bukit tagar.

Drive, and suddenly i was fall asleep..

I alwys choose to be on the middle line. Mean line kedue.

I was driving and suddenly aku tertido..

X sedar.

When i realised, kereta aku dah lorong ketiga, and arah nk ke langgar divider.

Tepi divider tu gaung. Not bukit or hutan.

That time aku tersedar and terus brek.

And tayar kerete brbunyi kuat coz brek.

After brek,

Suddenly lori besar lalu kat sbelah and kluarkan hon yg kuat.

Side mirror belah kanan tergeser dgn lori.

Imagine how close was that.

But still.....

Aku still kat tepi jalan tu, lorong kecik utk lorong emergency.

My hand was shaking..

And i cried...

I cried a lot tepi jalan tu.....

Aku x tahu knape aku mnangis..

Just realise how pathetic and useless i am..

I dont have anyone beside me..

I dont hv anyone to talk to..

I cried bcause nobody cares for me..

What if x break and kereta menjunam ke gaung tu?

What if that lori besar tadi langgar?

I was crying like hell...

If terbunuh kat situ, sape je yg tawu...

No one..

Dgn mama yg nk halau aku dari rumah..

A lot of people dont want me to live in this world anymore..

I cried like a little girl asking for an attention..

But no one hear..

Almost stengah jam kat situ 

And i brave myself to drive back..

Why dont i just.....

Nobody cares....

Hati aku hancur...
Nape aku prcayekan kau?
Kau same! Just same je!

Kawin kawin Wuhuu~~

HYE!!!
Tadi baru balik dari kenduri kawin abg si dye.
But unlucky, x sempat bjumpe ngn dye.
Just nampak dye jadi pengapit utk abg dye je.

Huh, padahal dye lalu sbelah meja aku je.
Boleh plak x perasan.
Yg aku just nmpk, dye sengih2 mcm kerang mabuk dpn kamera.
Ish, buruk betol muke.
Hahaha!

Plus last nite dye dtg rumah and bwk durian.
Wuhuu!! Aku x la kepingin sgt durian tu.
Sbb da lepas gian mkn minggu lpas.
Mama la yg beria sgt, smpai sggup masak pulut.
Padahal 3 bijik je dye bagi.

Otw balik knduri tadi plak ayah bantai beli rambutan and durian lagi.
Hadoi, mabuk aku dlm kereta tu.
Baru aku prasan aku ni kdg2 rase pening bile bau durian yg mlampau2 sgt.
Durgh~~

Back to the kenduri.
Ksian syg aku x nmpk aku tadi.
Ish, tapi nk buat cmne.
Dah mybe dye kusut sgt kot tadi.
So mlas nk terjah dye tadi.
So pas aku makan and tgk pengantin, slow2 balik.

One more! Jantung degup laju jap tadi bile ayah sembang dgn abah dye.
Hadui. Mcm nk tkeluar jantung ni.
Tah nape.
Tah hape dorg sembang. Huu~~

Mama plak selamat.
Sbb mase mak sembang ngn mama tadi, aku pun ade kat situ skali.
Comel je aku tgk mak. Hihi. ^_^

But honestly, rase sedih jugak la sbb dye x sempat jumpe aku.
Mybe x nampak aku lgsung.
Hmm.. Xpelah, janji aku yg nmpk dye.
Nmpk dye senyum, sengih ape bagai tadi pun jadi la.
U look so handsome :)
Kcuali ngn songkok yg x kene tu.
Haha.

So for kenduri tadi,
i'm wearing baju kurung colour cream.
Sempat snap 2, 3 pic.
Da lame x pakai. Hehe (^_^)

Potrait Keluarga ^_^

Hari bersejarah si dia  <3

Walaupun dye benci rambut dye time ni.
HAHAHAHA.
Gelakkan dye! Gelakkan dye!! :D

Well, this is the picture.
Lambat upload sikit. Hihihi

Damn, i look fat!
Pipi besar aku tu dah x tawu nk sorok kat mane
Tersembul jugak pipi tu   >_<

Yang ini agak malu sikit, sbb abah yg tangkap.
So, kena pakse senyum jugak walaupun segan.
Hahahaha...  (^_^)
And yah! That's the flower i bought for him! Hihihi <3

30 Soalan

I pick randomly this question from someone's blog. 
Because bosan and 
also it look's fun ^^
So nak try and cube jawab. Hihi 

So, here we go...

1. Apa harapan you apabila berkenalan dengan seorang lelaki yang you suka, untuk saja berkawan atau untuk future husband? 
Depends. Sometimes ade yg sesuai buat bf je or sometimes kite akan jumpe the exact lelaki yg boleh buat as future husband. So there's no hope. Just go with the flow.

2. Bila you planning untuk berkahwin?
Ha? Errr.. 24 or 25 maybe?? Paling lambat pun 27 kot. I dont want to pregnant masa tua.

3. Bagaimana wedding yang you imagine kan, tahap artis ke, vip ke? 
 Not tahap artis, just simple and more white colour. And paling penting is i'm happy and he also happy. So that i can see his smile on my wedding. ^^

4. Adakah you ni anak mak? Atau seorang yang hanya mengikut kata ibu bapa dalam perihal perkahwinan?
Sometimes degil, but if ape yg mama ckp betul then i should follow her. But aku rase aku jenis yang ikut je ape mama and ayah ckp, cause malas nk bertekak and i think they noe what best for me.

5. Adakah you ni seorang yang boleh dikatakan sebagai seorang yang keibuan? 
NO. Xde pengalaman jage anak sape2. So 100% no sifat keibuan. Honest!

6. Adakah you seorang yang sukakan kanak-kanak? Berapa ramai anak yang you mahu miliki?
Nop. Before tak suke budak2. But i will try my best to undrstnd them soon.
Hmm, anak? 3 maybe?

7. Apa yang you shopping setiap bulan? 
More to baju, make up, baju, bajuuuuuuuu

8. Bagaimana cara your money management? Suka menyimpan duit, atau suka menabung, melabur? 
Belum keje lagi, so no idea. Heee.

9. Adakah you mempunyai hutang dengan mana-mana bank, finance company? 
Yup, KPTM. 

10. Apa yang you paling suka lakukan masa lapang?
Online, Ajak eya kuar shopping, Makan, Jalan jalan.

11. You suka tidur tak, dan selalu bangun pukul berapa?
Suke. But i have a terrible problem to sleep. Susah nk tido cause by tht time my mind will think evrything until i could not sleep. Paling lame pkol 4 baru boleh tido. So sometimes i hate to sleep even i really need to sleep. Bangun paling lambat pkol  12? paling luar biase pkol 1. Heee

12. Pernah tak you jatuh cinta dengan 2 orang lelaki sekali gus?
Yup, pernah.

13. Adakah you ni boleh dianggap sebagai seorang yang romantik? Suka dimanjakan? Suka berkepit setiap masa?
Not really, tak romantik sgt. Suke lelaki yg dgr ckp, and selalu beralah utk gf dye ni. Hihihi ^_^
Dimanjakan yes. Berkepit tak sgt. If too berkepit jadi rimas and bosan. And i quickly get bored with someone. Telling the truth :(

14. Adakah you mahu pasangan you seorang yang romantik? Jika dia tidak romantik macamana? 
Yup, but dye mesti mestiiiiiii org yg funny sangat2!. If too romantic naik rimas. I want someone that can make me laugh and smile. :)

15. Adakah you ni seorang yang cepat kasihan pada lelaki?
Yup, always. 

16. Best vacation holiday yang pernah you pergi? 
Kedah, with my beloved :)  
First when i visit my sister house. We ate a lot of seafood and go to the beach together. Spent so much time with him.
Second, my sister wedding. Berjalan2 kat kedah sampai Penang. A lot of fun ^^

17. Adakah you ni seorang pembersih? Suka mengemas? Pakaian sentiasa berlipat dan barang ditempatnya? 
Jadi pembersih bile diri tengah rajin mengemas. Bile time malas, campak sane sini je. Biase la tu kan? Hihi.

18. Perkara yang you paling benci dalam diri lelaki? 
Berlagak macho kalau diri tu mmg x macho and lelaki yg terlalu byk alasan. 

19. Perkara yang you paling suka lelaki lakukan untuk you? 
Help me when i needed. Even angkt brg ke, tolong pape lah if nmpk aku dlm kesusahan. Hoho~

20. Lelaki yang sebagaimana yang boleh buat you rasa teruja?
Umm, lelaki yg alwys help me when i needed sumthing. Nmpak mcm dye hero sekjap. Hihi

21. Apakah satu hadiah yang paling you suka sekali pernah you terima?
MP4. My ex gave it for my bday. Now it's gone :(

22. You suka berkawan dengan ex-boyfriend tak? 
If truly berkawan then ok. But if he still nk try to ngorat balik then x suke. Better jgn kwn.

23. You boleh terima tak kalau boyfriend you masih berkawan dengan ex-girlfriend dia? 
Boleh, if ex gf dye ade bf. If she still single then nooooooooooo wayyyyyy!

24. Bila you sudah menjadi isteri, suami you nak keluar dengan kawan-kawan lelaki dia, you akan larang tak? 
Tak larang. Boleh je, but kene balik awal. Paling lambat pkol 11.

25. Bagaimana pula jika ada seorang wanita yang dalam kesusahan, perlukan bantuan suami you. Adakah you akan cemburu? 
Depends on what kesusahan. Kalau kesusahan nk suami org memang makan penumbuk la jwbnye.

26. Seorang lelaki, sangat suka masakan ibunya, jadi apabila berkahwin, dia akan mengharapkan pasangannya pandai memasak sesedap ibunya, adakah you boleh lakukannya?
Yup, try masak his fav dish. Blaja dari mak dye. Then boleh masak tiap2 hari kat rumah. Hihi :D 
Of course la nk suami suke masakan sdiri. So kene blaja masak sedap2. 

27. What is your favourite movie/songs suka menonton movie or going for a concert? Mungkin suka tengok teater? 
My fav movie - The Vow
Slalu movie je, tak pernah gi konsert lagi. But i wish someday i can go with him :)

28. Suka jogging? Exercise? Swimming?
Sometimes suke jogging, but only if badan ni rase rajin. Klau malas memang tak la nk pegi. Prefer more badminton than jogging.  I cant swim. Cant.

 29. Apakah tabiat buruk you? 
Suke buang mase without doing anything kalau mood malas sometimes. Kadang2 boros suke shopping even xde duit. Hahaha. 

30. Very sure you tidak akan benarkan suami you kahwin lagi seorang, tetapi bagaimana jika dia dan girl tu sudah jatuh cinta kalau tak kahwin nanti berdosa. So apa solutions dia?
Ceraikan. If nk girl tu then pls ceraikan. I dont want bermadu. No such thing. Go ahead make love with  that woman while i will find a better men for me. Hohoho~~

Dont judge me

Last nite we talked on the phone.
Pkol 2 pagi.
He told me that one of his friend ckp aku sombong.
Wth? At first aku mmg terkejut.
Bile mase pulak dye ade kwn yg kisah pasl aku?
Aku tanye when and why kwn dye ckp cmtu.

Then he said kawan prmpuan yg satu kelas dgn dye.
Oic.. Aku tahu kwn prmpuan dye tu. But aku x expect dye nk tahu pasal aku plak.
Based on his story, prmpuan tu jenis hyperactive sikit. So dye mmg brsemangat tiap2 hari and bising.
So aku dah boleh bayangkn la prmpuan tu cmne.
Jenis yg crazy, loud and what so ever.

He said yg prmpuan tu ade nmpak aku time konvo eya tu.
She say Hye kat eya, and dye nk tegur aku jugak time tu.
But dye ckp aku just jalan, tunduk and pandang hp.
HAHAHA, THAT IS SOOOO ME.
Yes, memang aku mcm tu.

Dari perspektif aku,
Sepanjang aku jalan ngn eya tu, sumpah la byk kwn dye yg tegur dye.
So x kan la aku nk menyampuk.
Aku just follow belakang dye jela.
Yang eya plak bising2 ckp aku suke jalan blakang dye, dye nk aku jalan tepi dye.
Hello? apek cine? Bute ape? Org lalu lalang kat situ, boleh plak nk suruh aku jalan tepi dye.
Dah la sempit laluan nk ke bilik hantar baju konvo tu.
Lagi nk suruh aku jalan brkepit ngn dye.
Aku kepit gune sepit ketam kang baru ade akai!

Back to the story, mule2 memang aku rase bengang la jap ngn statement tu.
Suke2 je pggil aku sombong.
Ramai sgt kot kawan dye, expect aku nk senyum kat sorg2?
Koyak la mulut ni. Hahahaa, alasan org malas senyum tu.
Plus, aku x kenal dye. And aku x expect dye nk tegur aku.
So, Sorry..

But bile fikir balik, yes truly aku rase yg salah.
Sbb x senyum??
Yelah, bf kaki peramah, friendly, mgacau org, hyperactive, tegur satu dunie.
Gf dye plak evil witch, pontianak, zombie, dark side, horror, xde mulut, senyap, ape lagi.
Aku jenis x peramah and friendly.
But once orang tu jadi kawan aku, attitude aku akn brubah same skali.
Dgn kwn sdiri buat ape nk diam? Tumbuk, cubit, tampar, smack down kaw2 la kan.

So the point is, dont judge me.
Memang aku yg salah x friendly dgn org.
But i have my own attitude, which is kena brkawan dgn aku dulu.
And then, u will receive my real behavior.
Aku susah nk baik dgn org yg aku x kenal sgt.
So sorry for my attitude.
But u cant change me.

So that time jugk dye kene sound setempek dgn aku.
Suke hati nk sound gf sdiri.
Ingat aku senang2 ke terime nasihat dye?
Jangan harap la bangggg.

Bile fikir balik,
Dye tu jenis active, bising, mengacau hidup org.
Aku plak berlawanan dgn sume perangai dye.
BUT THEN,

WHY WE STICK TOGETHER???

Hari Bersejarah~

I thought my post on 1 Dec tu will be the last post about him,

But thank god, everything is ok. :)

I thought i will lose him..

Hmm...

Actually malam tu ktorg brgado besar.

Its just something yg aku x ley ubah dlm diri aku, and he asked me to change.

How can i change? I dont even know myself better.

I just cant promise anything..

And last kali end up aku x nk prgi konvokesyen dye esok hari.

Sad. Of course la aku nk pegi. But bile gado cmni, its ruin evrything.

Seriously i wanna go. 

Cause aku ingt time aku konvo dulu.

Dye ckp dye nk sgt2 pergi.

But i dont let him. 

And bile dye tgk pic konvo aku dye Happy sgt2.

So i can see how much it means to him.

Then aku decide nk pergi konvo dye. 

I dont let him come on my special day, so at least i'll be with him on his special day..

:)

Then pagi tu he called.

Asked me to come to his house.

That time aku rase at least dye buang ego and asked me to follow him. :')

Hati aku dah riang.

Kelam kabut aku siap. 

Haisy, ni satu lagi masalah syg aku ni. Suke sgt ckp last2 minit.

Then aku x sempat nk make up lebih, just simple make up.

Amek kunci kereta trus langgar sume kereta nk pegi umah dye.

Habis sume berhimpit dalam kereta mak. 

And ummm, just a lil bit yg kurang senang sikit dgn keadaan dlm tu.

Yelah, dgn lambat lagi, jem lagi, tension lagi. So sume dalm emotion yg tertekan sikit.

But aku x kisah sume keadaan tu. 

I just looked at him and smile..

He looks amazing in kemeja ;)

Mate dah nk terkeluar love2 time tu, tahan jeee... Hihi.

But i want to see him in black, but tht time dye pkai white.

So, terima jelah.

Dgn rambut pendek dye tu. Hahaha.

It's not so bad. Aku rase aku suke jugk rambut pendek dye tu.

Reminds me of him yg dulu. Zaman sekolah dulu. Cute ape.

But dye benci sgt2 rambut tu. Haha, pape la syg oi.

And sepanjang dalam kereta tu, abah mcm biase lah buat prangai dye.

Aku just pekakkan telinge aku and..

My hand slowly tepuk lutut dye to make he calm..

Aku x nak dye dgr ape abah ckp, i just wanna make he feel calm..

Akhir sekali, dye keluar dari dewan tu

and i gave him a bouquet of flower :)

Aku pilih colour yellow and black. Sesuai utk lelaki.

And we snap due tige pic...

I'm proud of u syg..

Just dapat beli bunga je, i donno anything else to give

I just can stay beside u as long u want me to.. 

Saranghea <3

Urgh, Bajet jeeeee!!!

Hati... Please kuat..
Aku tahu, starting from today hidup aku akn terumbang-ambing.
I lost everything..
But it's worth it hidup aku cmni utk selamatkn hidup org yg aku syg.
Syg? What is that mean? It means nothing. Zero.

I cant sleep. My eyes hurt, my heart, my feelings.
I lost faith..

I can see who  i really am
What kind of girl, who i supposed to be with.
Dye trlalu suci and baik utk aku.
Aku just trlalu kotor and useless.

I shouldn't call him last night.
Patutnye aku tido awal je smalam.
But everything.....mmg dah ditentukan mcm ni ke?

I lost my other half part of mine...

Hati...
Please kuat...
Aku jatuh teruk hari ni, pls bangkitkan aku..

Beri aku kekuatan..