Marah.

I'm not sure hari ape.
That i decided untuk mintak putus.
Rase mcm x prcaya that i'm strong enough to make that decision.
Maybe, because i'm not the same person anymore.

Aku letih nak menghadap perangai kau. Sangat2 letih.
Nak menghadap perangai kau. Nak hadap semua tohmahan org.
Nak jwb pertanyaan orang. Nak buat pekak dgn segala org yg kesiankan aku.
Seriously. Aku rase mcm aku ni pathetic sgt2.
Semua org kesiankan aku. I was like... haaaahhh.. Sudah2 la..
Aku dah penat.

Dengan ayat2 kau yang " dah tawar hati " bagaiiii..
Please! Aku lagi byk tawar hati dengan kau!
Ape yg kau buat selame ni utk aku?
Ape yg kau beri yg mndtgkan faedah utk aku?
NONE!!!
Kau lelaki yg paling tak patut dibuat bf!
Xde sape pun tahan dgn perangai kau!
Kalau perempuan tu suke kan kau pun, belum tentu die sggup terima kekurangan kau mcm yg aku hadap!
Sumpah bodoh...
Aku ni bodoh gile..
Aku bagi sume bnde...
Sume yg aku ade. Sume.
Mase, duit, berjalan.
Pernah aku mintk ko ape2??
Kau boleh ckp kau tawar hati??

Pegi mati. Serious pergi mati.
Mcm2 kau buat kat aku.
Mcm2 aku korbankan utk kau.
Mcm2 aku tanggung kau.
Bodoh. Sumpah aku bodoh.

Menyedihkan

Hye syg..

Dah lame sgt x update kan.
Sorry lah. Byk stalker yg x bertauliah kat sini.
I expect no one to read. But rupenye org yg aku kutuk pun ade bace jugak.
So sad..
All this while aku luahkan sume bnde dlm ni, but xde effort utk ubah.
So sad..
Sepatutnye aku marah sbb die stalk aku slame ni. Tapi ntah..
Nak marah pun xde gune. Sbb aku pun ade kutuk die.
And die pun bace tanpe marah aku. But! At the same time x berubah ape pun.
Just, xde bnde yg lebih myedihkan dari ni.

Nvm. Next chapter pls.

I wish

I wish..
I could turn back everything.
Because nothing seems to be worth it.
I changed for u.
But u. Never appreciate.

U want me to be faithful, but look at u?  Do u even treat me like i'm yours?
Even a love or a cute message, do u ever think to send it?
Do u ever try to make me happy?
Who am i?
Who am i to you? A girl without a feeling?

For now, i'm just a girl with a relationship. without her bf.
Without anyone. Without u.
U supposed to be with me. By my side.
But u never treat me properly.

Sometimes, i keep remind of myself of our past.
How u wait for me.
How u keep me happy.
How u be mad and jelous of everything.
How u used to cry when i keep on cheating.
How u used to beg me to keep loving u.
How u used to be patient.
How we used to talk every single night about everything?

Do u even remember?

Am i not important? Even for a little..?

I sacrifice everything..
Everything i have...
I let my parents know about u.
Do u know u are the first guy that i let into?
How do ayah and mama expect from u to take care of their last daughter?
How do they think of u? After all the things ayah and mama help u all this while?
How do u repay them..?
I just keep thinking, if one day i have to tell them that we are not together.
What will they think...?

Are they gonna regret for trusting u? For trusting me too?
Are they gonna regret for everything they did to u?
I'm afraid to know..
I'm afraid they will hate u for what u did to me..

I used to share everything with u.
My happiness, my sadness, my pain, everything that i felt.
Remember how used to talk every night?
Every single night. We shared everything.
We keep on talking till we sleep.

I want to look at u like i used to..
But u are so different. I dont even recognized u.
I'm not looking at the same guy that used to love me..
I'm looking at the guy that feel nothing.
The guy that doesn't love me anymore.
Doesn't remember me anymore.
Can't remember his own girl.
Or doesn't want to remember anything about me.

Tell me just one thing..
Am i wrong to be in love with u?

Is it hard to handle a girl like me?
Am i that bad..?
Am i troubling u that much?

Sometimes i keep convince myself that u still love me..
But sometimes i feel stupid coz keep lying to myself..



I miss u....
please come back...




why u always make me cry?
i miss u so much... :'(