We Are Different....

Hey blog..
I know i'm such a loser and idiot..
If aku sedih and nk luahkan sumthing je i will find u..
Sorry blog.. Sorry..

Here is what i feel..

I dont know who is being selfish right now..
Me or him.

Aku geram sgt2.
I want to blame him for everything!

But.... i love him so much... until  i have to blame myself..
I'm the one who did wrong, i'm the one who should be blame..
Not u.. U are so perfect..
Yes, i'm wrong.. I'm so selfish..

U know how it feels when, u love that person so much until u cannot blame that person for anything.
That is what i feel..
:'(

But at one point aku tersentak is when he said " ape masalah kau ni da!? "
Mulut aku terkunci.

Aku tersentak....
Sbb bagi aku,
aku xkan sggup nk kluarkan soalan cmtu and voice mcm tu kat dye.
Semenjak aku berubah, aku x pernah nk ckp kurang ajar ngn dye.
Aku dah stop jadi kurang ajar ngn dye.

But ape yg dye ckp tadi tu....
Aku betol2 terkedu..

Aku nk keluarkan suara,
but suara aku x nk keluar...

At first call,
aku call dye, sbb tgh2 study tu suddenly aku tringt kat dye, rindu dye.
So aku just nk call dye skejap.
First call x angkat.
2nd call angkat.
Aku dah expect yg first call tu dye sgaje x angkat.
Then bile aku tnye, he said tgh mghafal, so x leh angkat.

That time, hati aku ckp.. " Berbeze nye aku dgn dye"
Aku sggup stop sume aku buat utk angkt call dye.
Even study dulu.
Malam tgh mghafal utk final exam dulu, aku ingt lagi aku suruh wani and akak stop hafal same2 jap utk angkat call dye je...........
How different between u and me...........

Mase on the phone, aku just ye kan ape dye ckp.
Sbb mulut aku terkunci.
Aku nk bersuare, tapi aku takut..
Takut aku tertengking and tinggi suare ngn dye.
Sbb aku tgh tahan marah aku and dgn ape yg dye tnye aku time tu.

Aku fikir lebih baik aku x bersuare dari aku tertengking dye....

Aku tahu skrg ni bagi dye,
Dye fikir aku buat perangai sbb x jwb ape yg dye tnye.
Benci dgn prangai aku. sbb jwb mcm tu.

But in mind is, lebih aku diam dari aku tinggi suare dgn dye..
Dari aku kurang ajar ngn dye, dari aku gado ngn dye..
Aku lebih rela tahan marah tu..


See...
how much i love him....
Until i can control my anger, just for not hurting u.....

But u never know....
U never know anything....


Aku just,  x tahu....
x tahu ape aku ni di mate dye..

And lepas letak phone,
air mata ni berlinang lagi....

I know i'm not important....
But i just pretend to be...
So that i can be happy for myself, even just for me...

I miss you so much...
Sometimes i just need to hear ur voice, even for a while..
I'm not going to stick with u all day long..
I promise i wont interrupt u all this day..
.......Just give me a couple of minutes to hear ur voice..

If i'm not going to miss u, who should i miss........

I should miss my bf, only you, just youuu...
I'm not missing other guy than u...

My place is just to be with u...


What am i to you.....

If i'm not belong to u,
where do i belong......?

:'(